NEVER HELP someone who calls you only when they need something. I learned this lesson the hard way last week, and my bank account is still recovering.
You think heartbreak hurts? Try sending your last 15k to someone claiming they're dying at the pharmacy, only to see them posting vacation pictures the next day.
We've all been there. That late-night text from someone who barely acknowledges your existence otherwise: "Hey, how are you?" followed immediately by "Can you help me with something?" The classic setup.
The screenshots I'm sharing aren't just random internet drama. They're real conversations showing exactly how these situations play out:
- First comes the casual greeting that feels strangely out of nowhere
- Then the subtle mention of a problem ("my stomach hurts")
- Next, the specific money request with just enough urgency to make you worry
- Finally, once the money arrives? A simple "thanks" if you're lucky
What makes helping ungrateful friends so much worse than heartbreak is the complete betrayal of trust. At least in a relationship, both people invested something. With these one-sided "friendships," you're the only one giving while they're just taking.
Notice the patterns in these chats:
- They always have an emergency that can only be solved with your money
- They use emotional manipulation ("I'm suffering")
- They disappear until they need something else
The worst part? After you help, they act like they've done YOU a favor by letting you help them. That "Lol" after receiving ₦15,000 says everything about their attitude.
I keep thinking about the time I skipped lunch for two weeks straight to help a "friend" pay their rent. Never heard from them again until they needed money for "school fees" three months later.
Why do we fall for this? Because good people want to believe others are also good. We project our own loyalty onto people who haven't earned it.
Today, I'm making a promise to myself: my kindness is valuable, and I'm only investing it where it's appreciated. Not because I've become cold, but because I've finally realized self-respect isn't selfish.
If you've been through this too, remember you're not stupid for helping, you're human for caring. The person who took advantage of your kindness is the one who should feel ashamed.
So before you send that money next time, ask yourself: "Would this person help me if our situations were reversed?" If the answer isn't an immediate yes, keep your hard-earned cash in your pocket.
Because the truth no one tells you? Some people aren't worth helping, not because they don't deserve kindness, but because they've made a career out of abusing it.
Next time someone's sudden emergency feels suspiciously like their problem becoming your problem, just remember these screenshots. They already know who else they can ask if you say no.
Save your kindness for those who don't make you question why you offered it in the first place.
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