My GitHub profile was so empty, recruiters thought it was a new account.
Someone asked if I was taking a "career sabbatical" when they saw my contribution graph.
So I built a bot to fake being a 100x developer.
Random commits at 3 AM? ✅
Fork trending repos? ✅
Push code while I sleep? ✅
My contribution graph looked like Times Square on New Year's Eve.
The bot went crazy one night. 10,306 commits in 24 hours.
Instead of panic, I got:
- 47 LinkedIn messages from FAANG recruiters
- 3 acquisition offers for my "stealth startup"
- An invite to speak at Harvard about "developer productivity"
- Elon Musk made a post about me on X "Best developer ever"
Yesterday, a FAANG recruiter messaged me:
"Your GitHub activity is incredible. We'd like to offer you 500k/year. No interview needed."
Plot twist: Their entire engineering team is bots too.
The CTO confessed: "Our most productive engineer is a Python script running on a Raspberry Pi."
(Update: Just got promoted to Head of AI. My bot is now interviewing candidates.)
Real lesson: The biggest tech companies don't verify anything. They just count green squares.
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