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Tech Confessions (We Listen We Don't Judge: Developer Edition)

Me: This bug will take 5 minutes to fix
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ›โฐ

Me: I don't need to document my code, it's self-explanatory
Future Me: crying in legacy code
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ˜ญ

Me: I'll finish this project before the deadline
Jira: laughs in backlog
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ“…๐Ÿ’€

Me: Let me just quickly check Stack Overflow
4 hours later
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ”

Me: I don't need Git backup, I'll remember my changes
System: crashes
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Me: This feature is definitely production-ready
Production: chooses violence
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿšจ

Me: I'll comment my code tomorrow
Tomorrow: never comes
Life: We listen, we don't judge โŒจ๏ธ๐Ÿซ 

Me: Let me try this new JavaScript framework
npm: installing 487,392 dependencies
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ“ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฎโ€๐Ÿ’จ

Me: I'll refactor this later
Technical Debt: becomes technical mortgage
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿฆ๐Ÿซก

Me: My code will work on the first try
Compiler: HEHEHE (In Rema's voice)
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿšซโœจ

Me: I don't need unit tests
Production at 3AM: explodes
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿงช๐ŸŒ‹

Me: I'll remember what this variable does
6 months later...
Me: Why did I name it 'temp69420'?
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿค”โ“

Me: This is just a temporary fix
5 years later
New Dev: Who wrote this?
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ—๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ถโ€๐ŸŒซ๏ธ

Update: Still in standup explaining why yesterday's 5-minute fix took 3 days
Life: We listen, we don't judge ๐Ÿ‘€
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