Me: This bug will take 5 minutes to fix
Life: We listen, we don't judge 🐛⏰
Me: I don't need to document my code, it's self-explanatory
Future Me: crying in legacy code
Life: We listen, we don't judge 📝😭
Me: I'll finish this project before the deadline
Jira: laughs in backlog
Life: We listen, we don't judge 📅💀
Me: Let me just quickly check Stack Overflow
4 hours later
Life: We listen, we don't judge 🕐🔍
Me: I don't need Git backup, I'll remember my changes
System: crashes
Life: We listen, we don't judge 💾😱
Me: This feature is definitely production-ready
Production: chooses violence
Life: We listen, we don't judge 🔥🚨
Me: I'll comment my code tomorrow
Tomorrow: never comes
Life: We listen, we don't judge ⌨️🫠
Me: Let me try this new JavaScript framework
npm: installing 487,392 dependencies
Life: We listen, we don't judge 📦😮💨
Me: I'll refactor this later
Technical Debt: becomes technical mortgage
Life: We listen, we don't judge 🏦🫡
Me: My code will work on the first try
Compiler: HEHEHE (In Rema's voice)
Life: We listen, we don't judge 🚫✨
Me: I don't need unit tests
Production at 3AM: explodes
Life: We listen, we don't judge 🧪🌋
Me: I'll remember what this variable does
6 months later...
Me: Why did I name it 'temp69420'?
Life: We listen, we don't judge 🤔❓
Me: This is just a temporary fix
5 years later
New Dev: Who wrote this?
Life: We listen, we don't judge 🏗️😶🌫️
Update: Still in standup explaining why yesterday's 5-minute fix took 3 days
Life: We listen, we don't judge 👀
Life: We listen, we don't judge 👀
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